#15 dry paint chips

chips at the heart
believe something
without thought
emotion

fairness
hollowed ground
not faults
cannot be challenged

tears
as defense
leaves
coldness

broad strokes
even
trust
blind

specifics?
specifics
arguments?
non of it

faith
of course
not
too easy

#14 Even at last

had me in sight
she thought
I might
crushed me again

did not owe
broken
old
still ugly

ugly in heart
freight
incapable
of seeing

blind
habits
was lost in a glass
still missing out

sweetness?
humble?
forgiving?
caring?

who cares?
I did
last parting shot
lost controller

#13 She

gives me breath
appreciation
new to me
as never

greatful
knowing
notices
I notice

connection
without humiliation
real
no pain

traveling
in time
light
as me

expectation
reasonable
love a surprise
light judgement

wherever
we go
we can
sail

#12 same old nerves; to put it nicely

work is for jerks
gained employment
again
regain

you might think it's great
you'd think I can't wait
wrong and again
troubling

slavery gives me nothing
to want
depression
to haunt

I do enough
website's the dream
no inbetween
nothing

a moment to spare
for sleep
a moment to build
freedom

all that it means
can be seen from a dream
each is a gig
to be tired of

website salvation?
attack it with passion
works all the same
give it away either way

work is work
or not work
for somebody else
it could be me

#11 Ahead of nothing

under critical acclaim
it's all the same
applause is still untrue
it's such a shame

although we all need silence
it's not provided here
it makes one want to give in
nowhere to find a tear

conflict clear and dangerous
traffic of the mind
the clutter is contagious
not finding any sign

of what went wrong
or whom to blame
run screaming
from the house

the stomach's tied
in little nots
the head
does summersalts

don't dismay
the end is near
brother is much
wiser

too bad
adjustments
can be made
lack of all surprises

inner conflict fights the flu
inner conflict wins
how can all things be equal
when nothing is really the same?

be independent
be told what to do
it's an awful seminar
to derail

confronation
just don't do it
truth you hide to death

to be finished . . . . .

#10 Salisbury miSteak

going for a long drive,

drinking,

the old drink,

make everyone think.

but I can't be heard,

a little weird,

familiarity,

family.

talk it over,

heard it before spoken,

expect unnoticed embarrassment,

the not same.

new twists expected,

travel by cab,

to a new slab,

in the rain.

same game later,

still heard it before,

it is in me,

part of my meld.

ok.
it will be ok.

#9 Know

give me a time,

when the love was all mine,

and i'll record it in a notebook.

who's got the guts,

to draw the line,

on the page.

when nobody's looking.

it's a secret you see,

you don't have to believe,

it's a dream,

someone else's reality.

if someone would find it,

the sky would fall down,

the moon and the sun,

would go black.

martians invade,

the table'd be set,

the earth would tremble,

to know it.

and still,

maybe not,

being true,

to yourself

your true friends,

would keep you protected,

from disease and the cold,

until you are old,

you’d forget and you would not even know it.